Part 2
On Monday, December 27, Tod and I went to brunch by La Jolla Cove before I left San Diego. I had to make a pit stop in LA to meet up with a couple of people. And then, wherever my heart desired would take me. After finishing my Los Angeles meeting at about 1:45 PM, I drove up the on-ramp for Interstate 10 and headed east. I got caught in traffic on the way to San Bernardino and became ever so frustrated with the crowds of people. I understand traffic jams when an accident or construction hinders their flow, but I'm always baffled when you get up to the front of the congestion and just start driving faster. What besides a couple of slow drivers has been backing us up for the last two hours!?! Nothing is more irritating. When I finally passed San Bernardino, civilization began to disappear, and I gradually arrived in the desert. That's when euphoria set in and the volume on the radio got cranked up to full. I hadn't been traveling since returning from Europe in June. My experiences halfway across the world had been so hard to let go of, I'd passionately written out a memoir over 200 pages in length. I've always enjoyed writing out my life experiences but I'd never tackled such an ambitious project before. I longed to go back but I was low on funds and knew my certain return would have to wait a couple of years. In the interim, this little roadtrip would suit me just fine. Nothing beats a few days alone in nature.
I kept driving east until I
reached the Arizona border after dusk.
I stopped for dinner in Blythe, CA, before continuing on my way. I drove through the darkness, no street lights
to aid my direction. Somewhere deep in
the isolation, I opted to pull over and immerse myself in my surroundings. Engine, headlights, music… all off. I got out of the car and observed:
The world stood still. The stars were more brilliant than Palomar
Mountain only two nights ago. Off in
the distance, at least 100 miles away, I could see the light pollution of
Phoenix. I tried to stand completely
immobile as even the slightest movement of my head or a change in pressure of
my foot's stance would create a sound much louder than the rest of the
scene. I tried to breathe as softly as
I could so as not to disturb the silence.
From off in the distance, a car engine became audible. I listened attentively as it
approached. I waited for at least three
minutes before I even began to notice the bushes before me illuminate from the
oncoming automobile's headlights.
Slowly, the reflected light brightened and after another 60-90 seconds,
I finally noticed it approach… pass me… with another vehicle immediately behind
him… and recede into the opposite horizon.
It was a good three or four minutes before their sounds faded and pure
tranquility returned to the scene.
I arrived in Prescott, AZ,
around 10PM, and after finding a suitable motel, checking into my room, and
getting ready for bed, I flipped on the TV for my 11PM programs, and remembered
that I had crossed a time zone. It was
now midnight. So, I went straight to
bed.
I spent most of sunny
Tuesday driving north on Rtes. 89A & 89, up through Sedona and Flagstaff,
crossing the western half of the perennially breathtaking Painted Desert, and
aiming to arrive at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon in time to watch the
sunset.
Even after getting onto Rte.
67 that leads me to my destination, it was a zig-zag narrow road covered with
dirt and a thin layer of snow through the tall and inhibiting forest. Those 60 miles were complimented by the
passage of no more than three cars. I
discovered upon my arrival around 4:30 no more than a dozen cars in the parking
lot. Only one group of three people was
visible from my line of sight. I parked
the car, grabbed my camera, my journal, and pen and headed down towards the
complex.
I've been to the Grand
Canyon once before when I was 15. I
don't remember much about it, only that I liked Bryce Canyon better. The entire complex, dozens of lined cabins
and a tourist center, was essentially shut down for the winter. I perused the perimeter before sneaking
around back to the terrace. Out of
nowhere popped a view of The Canyon.
Immediately, I thought two things: 1.
Yes, it looks familiar. I've
been here before. 2. I don't remember it ever looking that
beautiful. I don't mean to sound like
an idiot, but it was Grand. They definitely named it properly. I studied the marvelous details, the
multicolored ridges, the smoothly layered rock formations. I admired the result of billions of years of
geology. Man could never be capable of
creating something so magnificent. Only
the power of nature, evolution, and forces beyond our comprehension could make
something so astounding, so lovely, so beautiful.
The sun was low in the
horizon with only a few scattered clouds in its vicinity. It shone just bright enough for me to have
to wince at it. But I couldn't resist
looking. The surrounding clouds were
shaded a dark gray on the opposing side, a luminous red on the facing. The clouds closest to our great star offered
a bright orange to the colorful scene.
The sun continued to dip and fell into a completely obscured view by a
long thin cloud. The gray cloud had this
bright orange lining that reminded me of a toaster's coils as they slowly began
to heat up, to brighten in orange until the whole cloud was uniform. It gradually dipped down and just as it
returned to its initial gray, its bottom quickly grew in intensity, and the
brilliant yellow sun peeked out from underneath and continued its descent.
It was only a moment away
from sunset. It was the most brilliant
sight I've seen in years. I thought
about what I was witnessing: something so beautiful, so poetic and elegant that
happens every single day and has happened for billions of years. We all have the opportunity to watch a
sunset every day. And though the sun
doesn't set at the same time for everyone, each person is only entitled to one
sunset a day. Yet we only rarely take
the time out to watch such a breathtaking event. The sun has outlasted us all, and it will continue to outlast us
all long after we're gone. 2000 years
is just a blink of an eye to you, isn't it?
And you're dipping lower… going… gone.
My jaw is wide open. I'm gaping
with awe, trying to catch my breath.
I'm so entranced, I'm so focused on the vision before me… it reminds me
of sex. How sex is so intense that when
you're in the middle of it, you can't focus on anything else except the
sensations throughout your body. The
scene before my eyes captivated my undivided attention and its beauty was so
intense… it was orgasmic. That was the
first time I ever had sex with a sunset.
"Bryce Canyon was
better than the Grand Canyon?" I asked my 15 year old self.
" I doubt it.
But we shall see, won't we?"
The next morning, I drove an
hour from Cedar City, UT out to Bryce Canyon.
No, it was not better than the Grand Canyon. But it was quite a sight.
I drove all the way to Rainbow Bridge, Elevation 9115 feet for a
spectacular view of the canyon. I took
a couple of snapshots and headed back.
Towards the entrance, I caught the sign for Inspiration Point. I couldn't resist the name so I turned off
and hiked the good distance to Upper Inspiration Point. Staring out into the scenery, listening to
only the calm wind and thinking about my life, it dawned on me that today was
December 29, 1999. December 29… I guess
we've all had that one serious relationship where we fall in love at an early
age and inevitably have our hearts broken.
My anniversary with Kalin was December 29. Today would've been our 7 year anniversary and the day I had long
ago decided I would propose to her. I
had it all planned out. I'd propose on
the 29th, we'd tell everyone on the 31st. How times change. She and I have been broken up for three years now. "Well," I thought, "at least
I'm in the right place for it."
I drove west through the
wonderful Zion National Park and then headed south to Nevada. Approaching Las Vegas around 5PM, I
considered the possibility of heading straight back to San Diego. I had to make a restroom stop so I pulled
off an exit and was immediately caught in traffic. I was practically at a standstill on the exit ramp for twenty
minutes. I had heard Vegas was going to
be packed for the Millennium but this was outrageous. The traffic was so repulsive that spending another night away
from civilization became more appealing, so I turned northwest and drove three
hours to a small town called Beatty, NV, next to the California border. I got in around 8:30 and since there isn't
much to do for a night on the town in Beatty, I went straight to bed with the
intention of waking up and hitting the road before sunrise. This way, I could watch the sunrise in Death
Valley.
I was showered, dressed, and
out the door by 5AM. The sky was still
pitch black as I could observe my cold breath exhale from my mouth. I hadn't packed my winter jacket so I had to
shiver for a few moments while the car warmed up. When I stopped to fill up the gas tank before getting on the
road, I asked the older man in a baseball cap and flannel shirt behind the
counter how to get to Route 374.
"Just take a left out
of here and keep going."
I'd seen some deserted
landscape these past few days but this was unbeatable. A single car passed me over the course of
the first hour. When I pulled the car
over to look at the stars, I was once again amazed. I could just barely see hints of the eastern sky transforming
from black to the darkest blue. The sun
was beginning its ascent to the horizon.
I wondered how far along I could get before sunrise.
Almost an hour passed before
I finally pulled the car over for the daily event. With a mountain in the
distance obscuring my view, I climbed the mountain next to me to attain as high
a point as I could. Though it was
chilly, I sat, my hands shoved into my pockets, cradled myself close, and
enjoyed the fresh air and the placidity.
The sun came into view shortly after 7.
I snapped a couple of photos and headed on my way to Lone Pine.
After breakfast in Lone
Pine, CA, population 2032, I headed back to San Diego, driving south through
the marvelous Mojave Desert, and got in around 1:30.
I had to be at the airport
at 7PM to meet Emily. Emily and I met
in a class we were taking back in New York.
I liked her from the moment I laid eyes on her at our very first
class. Since then, we’d developed a
close friendship. But it wasn’t until
the end of the course and right before she moved away to San Francisco that
something happened between us. It was
clear that we hadn’t fleshed out the potential of where that something might
lead us, but with the continental United States separating us, we’d never have
any time to spend together. That was
why when I decided to come out to San Diego, I called her and asked her to fly
down and spend New Year’s and my birthday with me. That way, we’d have a couple of days of quality time together.
She looked phenomenal when
we greeted each other and hugged by the baggage terminal. She looked better than I’d remembered. It wasn't until we got on the road that she
admitted to me she'd never been to San Diego before. At times, I was overcome of purely sexual thoughts and how I
wished to act on them right then and there but I had to be patient. Our time would come.
Tod, Kellie, Emily, and I
went out for dinner together. It was a
warm night out so we sat out on the patio for our meal. Kellie and Emily found they had a lot in
common and got along exceptionally well.
It was comfortable company.
After arriving back at Tod
and Kellie's apartment, the two hosts went off to bed and cleverly convinced
Lotus to join them to give us some privacy.
When we were alone, we laid along the mattress and held each other. We kissed one another sensually and shared
how much we missed each other, how it had been so long since we'd been together
and how we finally had a couple of days to fully explore the potential of
whatever could be between us. We took
our time in undressing each other and allowing our hormones to get heated
up. When the time was finally right, we
commenced to make passionate and endearing love, a love that I will always
cherish. Though I've had plenty of sex
in the last three years, there was something about my intimacy with Emily that
I hadn't felt since my breakup with Kalin.
I felt warm and peaceful inside and out. This was not someone I was trying to get into the sack for a
passing fling. This was a close and
respectable friend with whom I feel an amount of comfort experienced with so
few people. Nothing held me back from
being myself and the same emanated from her.
We held each other tightly in the darkness until after I had fallen asleep.
On the last day of the 20th
century. Emily and I made love once
more in the morning before I got ready for brunch with cousin Tara. I invited Emily to come along with me but
she knew as well as I did that she'd feel like the third wheel. Tara took me to a typical New York diner in
the middle of La Jolla for my ham & cheese omelette. We sat out on the patio and enjoyed the
great weather.
"So, what's the deal
with this party you're throwing?" I asked my cousin.
"I don't know. We kind of threw it together last
minute. Could be 5 people, could be
500. I really don't know."
"Usually in cases like
that, it's closer to 5."
"Yeah, that's what I
was thinking."
We were right. There weren't more than 30 of us at the
party that night. But we had a fun
time. The five of us bonded. We watched
the ball drop in Times Square. We got
drunk together. We met some
people. And at about 90 seconds before
midnight, we found ourselves crowding around the TV. I stood in the center of the group, surrounded by representatives
from all four groups of people: family, friends, lovers, acquaintances. Together, we counted down from 10. And midnight came, the Millennium had
arrived. We all cheered, hugged each
other, congratulated each other on making it to another year.
Within minutes, however,
people began cleaning up and clearing out.
We helped Tara return the place she had rented to its original state
before we said Goodnight to all and headed out. Back at Tod and Kellie's, Emily and I stayed up for a while and
talked before conversation turned to passion.
When we were finished, I whispered to her, "I wanted to stay up to
see the sunrise but I don't think I'm going to make it."
"Don't worry about
it." she said as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me gently on
the ear.
"Happy New Year."
I said quietly to her.
"Happy Birthday." she whispered to me before I fell asleep.